How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage To Forgive, the Freedom Not To
Janis A. Spring

We have been taught that forgiveness is the only healthy, morally sound response to violation, and that it must be granted without conditions, even when the person who hurt us is unremorseful — even when that person is dead.

In her long-awaited second book, the gifted therapist and bestselling author of After the Affair debunks these myths. Drawing on twenty-nine years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Spring proposes a radically new, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives — without forgiving.

She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness — one that asks as much of the offender as it asks of us. Forgiveness is no gratuitous gift, she argues. We can heal ourselves, but forgiveness must be earned.

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