If your friends or family members are upset with one another, you will feel their unhappiness. Try to be the voice of reason and reconciliation.

Nellie and Cindy are sisters from northern California. There were close all their lives, and they even decided to move in together to share Nellie's house. And then the phone bill came.

Nellie received what she called the biggest phone bill of her life and immediately confronted her sister, Cindy looked at the bill and said that most of the calls weren't hers; they must have been placed by Nellie.

Words escalated, until the tension between sisters completely eclipsed their familial bonds. The rest of their family members felt uncomfortable in their presence and began to avoid them rather than trying to help them through the difficulty.

Without compromise in sight, Nellie sued her own sister in small claims court. The family was exasperated with the both of them. And even while Nellie won the case, she lost her sister.

The passive avoidance of problems between loved ones reduces contentment by 15 percent. To keep in contact and maintain happiness, difficulties must be faced rather than avoided. (Simpson 1990)

Excerpt from 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How you Can Use It by David Niven, Ph.D.