The problems  we have now have roots in old problems. Even if we were to cut away the current problem, the root would still be there ready to grow other problems. It is really helpful, therefore, to realize where the root of our current problems comes from and how it has grown into many different problems in our life.

Today, write down three present problems in your relationship. Then, beside these, identify from whom in the past each problem stems. Next to that, write what the problem was with that person. Trust what pops into your mind for each category. Your intuition will give you answers that your thinking and memory could never give you because they are in collusion with the ego and they would never give something the ego does not want to deal with. Your intuition will constantly bring you answers. By using your intuition, your answers can be inspired.

Now look at what you have written. If these problems you've identified come from unfinished business, would you like to finish the business now? This could be as easy as forgiving the people in the situation, blessing them, or just letting the whole thing go as not being true anymore, as not being worth holding you back at the present time in your life.

Excerpt from If it Hurts, It Isn't Love and 365 Other Principles to Heal and Transform Your Relationship by Chuck Spezzano, Ph.D.