People can accuse us of all kinds of things. They can accuse us of being a bank robber, a sexual pervert, being too selfish, or not being a good parent. The only accusations that bother us, however, are the ones we are already feeling guilty about. Nobody can make us feel guilt that we are not already holding in some part of our mind.

Today when someone triggers your guilt, use the opportunity for healing. Know that this is a place where you feel guilt and stopped yourself from growing. Now you have the opportunity of transforming your guilt. No one has power over you that you are not giving them. Nobody can make you feel bad except where you already feel bad. Say to yourself, "Now that I am in touch with this feeling, I can do something to change it. I know this guilt is an illusion and that it is based on a mistake. I will learn the lesson now and move forward in my life. I will feed it until it disappears. I choose to receive."

Excerpt from If It Hurts, It Isn't Love and 365 Other Principles to Heal and Transform Your Relationship by Chuck Spezzano, Ph.D.