I have learned an important life lesson both personally and through my training as a psychologist.  Although I learned it by accident initially, it is one that works much better when you do it on purpose.  I will tell you about it so you can look for ways to purposefully do things differently to reduce fear, improve happiness, and increase your chances of success in your life's endeavors.

Here is the lesson: Whenever you are afraid, uncomfortable, nervous, worried, do the opposite of what you would naturally do.

Fear is one fo the most common humane motions.  We all have things that we are afraid of.  Many children worry about going to school or are afraid of animals or new activities.  Adults commonly fear public speaking, interpersonal conflicts, flying, and many other things that we perceive as threatening or potentially embarrassing. 

The common response to fear is to try to reduce it.  If your child is anxious, you are naturally going to help him or her to feel better.  By this process, people learn to avoid experiencing fear.  Although this is the natural response, it is also the least helpful response.

The more you avoid experiencing anxiety, the more your discomfort will grow over time.  You will avoid facing your fear and eventually miss out on many important activities because you are living within your comfort zone.  You will also miss out on learning that when you do allow yourself to experience the anxiety, it naturally goes away on its own.

My message to you is to push yourself to get out of the comfort zone you may be living in.  You will then enter the place where your most tremendous personal and professional success will begin.

This is true in many areas fo life.  Think about when you first started dating someone.  You may have had butterflies and nervousness.  If you had avoided these feelings, you may have missed out on a wonderful relationship.  You may have been uncomfortable with speaking up in class or at work.  Yet when you confronted your anxieties, over time your confidence grew and your fear shrunk.

When you feel anxious or uncomfortable, tell yourself that those feelings are wonderful because that means you are pushing yourself to get over your fears, fully experience life, and become a more confident and complete human being.


Dr. Larina Kase, President of Performance and Success Coaching, LLC, coauthored the e-book, End Self-Sabotage,at
www.endselfsabotage.com.

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